What we often forget when reading…

I have been reading a lot. I have picked up various genres and authors in the previous few months and have moderately enjoyed all those experiences. But I never completed any of those books. The list is kind of long, it includes the House of mirth by Edith Wharton, Maine by J.C.Sullivan and many more. If you ask me, why I never finished them, I wouldn’t have a single reason to tell you why, nor am I in a reading slump (I have finished multiple other books in the that time frame). Then, why was I unable to finish any of these books?

It was the other day when I was reading the book, The Solitary Summer by Elizabeth von Arnim, that I came to find the answer. In the book, her character mentions how she picks up different authors off her shelf depending on what she is feeling or where she is seated in her house. She talks about leaving a book when its purpose has been served, and starting off a book right in the middle when she feels like it. That’s when it hit me. That is what I had been doing for the past few months. I was picking up books that I wanted to read in that moment and was even making progress, but for no reason at all would leave them once they didn’t appeal to me anymore.

This got me thinking, why didn’t I do this more? Why did I feel compelled to ‘finish’ books just so I can claim that yes, I read? In this online culture of constantly counting what you are reading, how much you are reading and where you are reading it, we have forgotten the very thing reading is not; a competition. I don’t think I should have to complete every single book to say I enjoyed it or didn’t. I don’t think you have to finish every book and mark it as read on your goodreads shelf to say that you read a book. Who is keeping score of how many books you read to completion anyway? We have to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves as a community and as humans. We have to make sure that the platforms that bring us together, don’t make us lose sight of why we are there in the first place. If a certain book appeals to you at a certain point and time, I encourage you to pick it up and enjoy it to the maximum. When it stops giving you pleasure, you can walk away, it’s okay to walk away. No one is keeping score.

Long disappearances

I have been gone a while. The reason for it is quite simple, in my head that is. As one with a billion thoughts, I began focusing too much on what my words meant to others, and if they were even being read and acknowledged. What I lost sight of in the process was that, my words meant something to me. This blog didn't start as an attempt to get people to hear me, it was just me writing some thoughts about how the reading life treats me, and I treat it for that matter. That is why I have returned. That is why I hope to write more frequently. Because, even if your words mean something to one person, they are worth it. And they mean something to me. And that is enough.

On not being able to read as much.

This year, as I celebrated the end of another year gone by, my heart felt a little heavy. Heavy, at the thought that I didn't even make it halfway through my reading challenge on goodreads. The challenge number on goodreads is more than just a number in my life, its an obsession. Its what guides my reading choices, and pushes me forward. All that talk about not putting so much pressure on reading? Well, it applies everywhere, except this particular aspect.

So why was the number so low? I have no particular reason. I have excuses, and they are no different than anyone else's pre-occupations in life. I am not especially entitled with a busy life. I am entitled with specially bad time management skills though. I have been distracted, wasted my time and put reading on the back of my mind. I bought and bought books without carving out any time to read them.

Why do I write this self-deprecating post you may ask? Because, this year I plan on changing that. I plan on using my phone less, and reading more. I plan on trying new genres, taking more recommendations and having patience to see the end of books through. I plan on reading in whatever time i find, rather than waiting for 3 hours to magically fall in my lap. I plan on doing better on something that is of incredible significance to me. And, I write this here to hold myself accountable. And to the two people who might read this post, if you did not read as much this year, and it makes you feel some kind of way, its never too late to get back to it.

Happy new year! May all the books you read this year make it to your favorite list, and confuse the hell out of you when you try and choose.